Radical Forgiveness in Everyday Relationships

"You don’t forgive because they deserve it, you forgive because Christ set you free."

“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:32)

There is a quiet trap many believers fall into: we wait for someone to earn the mercy we are commanded to give. We tell ourselves, “If they apologize right, if they change enough, if they feel what I felt, then I will forgive.” But Scripture does not place forgiveness on the offender’s performance. It places forgiveness on Christ’s finished work.

Ephesians 4:32 makes the standard plain: we forgive “as God in Christ forgave” us. That means forgiveness is not the approval of what happened. It is not denial of the pain. Forgiveness is the Spirit-led decision to release the debt, because Jesus already paid your debt in full. When you hold on to bitterness, you stay tied to the offense. But when you forgive, you are not setting the offender free as much as you are letting Christ’s freedom govern your heart.

Forgiveness is one of the clearest signs that the gospel is not just in your mouth, but in your life. Christ did not wait until we deserved grace. He moved toward us while we were still broken. And now, because we belong to Him, we can release what we never should have carried.

Today, ask the Lord for courage to forgive, not because the wound was small, but because your Savior is greater. Let freedom win. Let mercy speak. Let Christ be seen in you.